Thursday, 10 February 2011
THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE STICK
Now with added Poetry!
Well, we couldn't be the Fellowship of the Ring because that's been done before and probably far better, actually, I know it's been done far better being a massive Lord of the Rings fan myself, however, our fellowship has grown from a small to a somewhat larger group of like minded friends sharing a love of good music, real ale, good food and behaving like you're still in your teens even though we're probably not!
The stick however, like the ring, has awesome power!
We have no constitution nor formal 'rules' these that follow are just for fun!
These' rules' may of course vary somewhat depending upon what can be described as 'Local Conditions'.
1. Gigs at Club-85 in Hitchin must, in all cases, be preceded by drinking real ale in 'The Nightingale'. Chicken and Chips may be procured before or after the gig (Or both) - Post gig or waiting for the last train then, 'Hitchin Station Platform Dancing' is to be encouraged.
2. Gigs in Letchworth, in all cases must be preceded by drinking in Weatherspoons and must always be accompanied by some sort of meal.
3. Gigs in Haddenham, acceptable social behavior will be determined before, or 'On the night', by the nominated driver.
4. Gigs at 'The Stables' Milton Keynes - As per rule 3 above.
5. Gigs in London, these must be preceded by an early lunchtime 'kick off' at Stevenage Weatherspoons (New Town) and an afternoon's drinking in London, food should be taken at the nearest opportunity as and when required and again after the gig.
6. Beer or Music Festivals and the like - Anything goes.
7. Antwerp or elsewhere abroad, anything goes within reason as long as it is 'non-arrest-able' and does not cause injury to other Fellowship members.
8. Photography and filming, at any gig or venue:-
a) Legal filming or recording of the band is to be encouraged as is the sharing of such photographs, files or recordings with other fellowship members post the event.
(Remember illegal filming or recording is illegal and is not to be encouraged under any circumstances, so sayeth 'The Stick').
b) Filming of other Fellowship members is mandatory providing these are done in the worst possible taste with all intentions to discredit or embarrass the individual in question being filmed.
Raucous or cringe-worthy dancing MUST always be caught on camera and shared, preferably within an open or public forum such as Facebook.
9. Attire. Attire for any event attended by the Fellowship should be commensurate with the theme of the event, for example, if attending an outdoor festival, jeans and 'band' T shirts may be more appropriate than a dress suit, also, when seeing a band such as Gong, the wearing of appropriate headgear (E.g. Propeller Hats) is to be encouraged, other examples include Viking costumes for Turisas or Lordy, stockings and suspenders for the Rocky Horror show etc.
10. Weatherspoons Real Ale Vouchers - Irrespective of whether a CAMRA member or not, any member of the Fellowship holding such vouchers is duty bound to share these among the fellowship for ease of 'Round payment' (These of course can only redeemed against REAL ALE and not Lager).
THERE'S DANCING AND THERE'S DANCING
I suppose that it's very true to say
throughout mankind's history dance has a way
of evolving and perhaps revealing
just what the dancer’s may be feeling
An outward expression of the inner soul
whether American Smooth or Rock and Roll
or careering about, leaping and bashing
whilst in a brutal mosh-pit thrashing
Or the graceful gentle rise and sway
of a Viennese waltz well underway
po-go-ing punks or an elderly tea-dance
such movement, surely, will always entrance
Whether the beauty and grace of a classic ballet
or the passion of a Tango or perhaps more so today
a modern dance where anything goes
in flamboyant costume or indeed ‘avec sans’ clothes!
but, of course
There's dancing and there's dancing
none doth compare to Prog-Rock prancing
arms and legs fuelled by music and too much beer
to watch such dance doth raise a cheer!
When is a Voucher not a Voucher?
They talked of Hawkwind, of Gong and Hillage
whilst supping real ales from the racked up stillage
such afternoons like this should never end
a beer festival at Our Mutual Friend
When drinking of such very fine ales
a sense of merriment prevails
but time has a habit of marching on
and soon it was time for them to be gone
By omnibus and railway train
they were on the move again
to Letchworth's finest Weatherspoons
to meet old friends and catch old tunes
Soon the few became the six
more beers graced this heady mix
and food fit enough to load any plate
more beers, more beers no time to wait
A trade magazine lay close nearby
an advertisement caught the eagle eye
it seemed that vouchers were available here
gift tokens to pass on to friends for beer
The picture looked like the real McCoy
so was hastily cut free, oh boundless joy
five pounds off the very next round
if simple bar staff could just be found
So with confidence and some aplomb
Kevin stepped up to pass it on
this confused the poor bar-maid
she called the manager, I am afraid
But she said to just check the date
but before it was too late
Kevin owned up to the deception
and received a somewhat surprise reception
The manager it seemed was not annoyed
in fact she was somewhat overjoyed
that such a ruse was thus revealed
and could no longer be concealed!
So it was with happy hearts all round
the six intrepid friends did abound
and onward to rock the night away
to Deeply Purple did dance and sway
The tale above is truth not lie
and if such things you're want to try
the moral is simple but very true
get really thick bar staff to serve you
in the first place!
And finally, a word from our sponsors, hic!