Saturday, 2 July 2011

Knees and Bumpsidaisy!

Well, I don't normally 'do' personal stuff on here but, when something unexpected, unusual and different happens, it's somewhat cathartic to share and maybe it will also speak to others.
There are of course a couple of new poems at the end, one inspired by something I observed whilst in hospital (The NHS at it's administrative best) and a poem within which I attempt to 'capture' a very vivid dream I had whilst heavily sedated on Morphine!

Yes, I'm still smiling!

To cut a long story short, just over a month ago my old knee surgery, a Unicondular, (partial replacement) failed suddenly, unexpectedly and with no prior pain / warning, my tibial insert had pushed down into the bone thus releasing the bearing & spacer making my knee joint go like two pool balls in a sock and immense pain.
I spent a week in hospital completely immobilised and dosed up to the nines on morphine while the consultant gathered a kit of parts from orthopaedic hospitals around Europe!

My leg completely imobilised before the operation.

The only option was full knee replacement but, knee replacement is one thing (Routine these days) but to 'Revise' my old surgery to take a knee replacement was a major operation involving bone grafts, reconstructive surgery etc. Hence a major op, I was in theatre for manyhours. The recovery period and pain is a lot more than for a 'normal' knee replacement too.

Post operative excersise was interesting, I was put in a CPM machine (Continious Passive Movement) which takes all the weight but simulates walking movement:

The CPM Machine.

And the CPM with my leg in it!

I'm getting there slowly and painfully, pain management has been a real issue as after I finished the drugs they sent me home with from hospital I was supposed to be able to cope with just paracetamol but that was ineffective and didn't even touch the pain!

The scar however is quite spectacular!

So, via physiotherapy & my GP am now on co-codemol which really does help and allows me to do my daily gruelling physio workouts which also help, which has allowed me to 'dump' the crutches and move onto walking sticks, as you can see below:-

Me on sticks with my 'Mini Nurse' (Keira).

I would like to say a very public thank you to all the Medical Staff at the Lister Hospital in Stevenage for thier wonderful care and attention, who, at times, made me feel humble and loved as well as just being looked after, if God put Angels on this Earth then I'm sure some of them are working there as Nurses!

Administration is however another matter, it's good to see the NHS spending money so wisely;

The Dust Inspectors

If there’s a spec of dust
Floating in the air
Who you gonna call?
Dust busters

If there’s a spec of dust
And it’s going somewhere
Who you gonna call?
Dust busters

“What’s that spec there?”
“I ain’t afraid of no dust”“I ain’t afraid of no dust”
But that spec
That spec of dust
Might just have a MICROBE on it!
A Microbe?
“Gawd, love duck guv’
Not a microbe!
“We need the ‘Dust Inspectors’

It takes two baby, it takes two
And here they come
The man who does not linger
The man with the calibrated finger

A quick wipe here
A quick wipe there
And his eye roll, his tongue lolls
And you can almost hear him hiss
“Write it down, write it down”
To his young assistant
Clip-board in hand
“Dust has fallen here,
Do I make myself clear?”

They look around
As if accusing
ALL the nursing staff
AND all the cleaners
Or worst still
The patients
“Pollutants” every one

It takes two baby
It takes two
To be a dust inspector

But it’s all a charade
A pantomime
A panacea for the modern times
Nothing more than a token gesture
Which shows up on some statistic
For the government
This really is NHS cash well spent

Spending money in the right direction
Eradiating all potential sources of infection
“Who you gonna call?”Dust busters!

One night, and yes the sky really was that colour, I was heavily sedated with Morphine when I had the most vivid dream, I have attempted to cature that dream in the poem below;

Orange Blue

Reality screams through the morphine dreams
And the sky turns orange blue
Through landscaped gardens
Across lawns of green
We dance towards the waters edge

The girl with the pale skin and hair of white blonde hue
Calls the water horses unto her
As the sky turns orange blue
But in the deep something stirs
Way out beyond the islands

We run laughing to the old house with little else to do
Whilst the ghosts of the past dance silently by
And the sky turns orange blue
Something dark is heading shoreward’s
Malevolent brooding of evil intent

We watch over her to keep her safe

She skips towards the waters edge

The darkness is coming in the wake of something
Moving quickly through the waters
It’s time to act, time to take our cue
But somehow time slows right down
As the sky turns orange blue

She’s on the shore-line sitting on a rock
We freeze in horror and can no longer move
She sings to the water horses
Under a sky of orange blue
Seemingly unaware of the sweeping darkness
About to rise from the waters and envelope her soul

And when we feel it’s all to late
And there’s nothing we can do
A tiger of the purest white appears
Under the sky so orange blue
She throws her arms around his neck
And is carried back to the sanctity of the garden

Thwarted now the darkness recedes
Turning back out to the endless sea
We hold hands and dance in joy, singing as we do
And the sunrise disperses all sorrow
But the sky remains a mystic orange blue.

Until my exploits resume, cool runnings one and all, Grant.

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