Wednesday, 10 August 2011

The Raw Carrots And Muesli Band

The authorised history / completely unauthorised mythology of the Raw Carrots and Muesli Band.

What started as one of those drunken “Wouldn’t it be a great idea to start a band” conversations way back
in 197-too-far-to-remember-clearly (OK it was early in 1978) quickly spread from the Foundry Arms in Poole, Dorset as far as The Bricklayers Arms in Poole, Dorset and then, remarkably, to The Rising Sun in Reading even taking in obscure parts of Bournemouth along the way!

Brainchild of Ledger & Grunt, the hunt was on for band personnel who could actually play an instrument (Better than we could at that time) and a name for the band, well in fact, we didn’t have to do much searching at all, once ‘The word’ was out everything sort of came to us, but spontaneity was what we were all about anyway.

Having lived on a diet of raw carrots and muesli for a week in order to clear their systems of all impurities before a very spiritual visit to Avebury, the name, The Raw Carrots and Muesli Band became sort of obvious and of course very, very ‘catchy’.

We were the worlds first, and possibly only, Macrobiotic Acid Punk band, fusing elements of extremely badly played Space Rock / Jazz Rock with the raw energy and excitement of Punk with a fluctuating line up that always led to a somewhat unusual but often exiting experience for anyone bothered to listen and of course for the band themselves!

The full line up was:-

Ledger Bald - Guitar (Pretty good guitar) and vocals

Grunt Normal - Guitar / Bass (Appalling guitar but passable bass!)

Fozzie - Bass / Drums (When awake!)

Poot the Viking - Guitar (Actually very good guitar!)

Pog & Liz Satsuma – Backing vocals, spacey screams.

Photo Gallery (Then).

Grunt and Ledger


Pog and Poot

Liz Satsuma

We had a total of 4 original songs, Raw Carrots & Muesli (A finger in the ear folky introduction song), the spacey Hawkwind / Gong style, Do Not Adjust Your Mind There Is A Fault With Reality, the Acid Punk classic, White Triangle Anarchy and the pure punk masterpiece written by Ledger, I Was A Teenage Spelling Mistack and one instrumental, Avebury Variations written by Poot.

We could also play our own unique versions of Hawkwind’s Master of the Universe and Gong’s Master-builder, each of which we could stretch from a minimum of half an hour to days if necessary!

The old set list etc.
If anyone saw any of the Hawkwind tours in the eighties where they wore white Lab’ coats covered in graffiti, well we were there first and they almost certainly nicked the idea off us, probably after being knocked out by our stunning performance at one of the late seventies Stonehenge Festivals.

I think it’s fair to say that there was never ever any one time that the whole band line up ever played together in public however, like all good bands with such diverse and talented members, duo’s, three pieces, four and even five piece variations did play a number of gigs, at least two Stonehenge festivals, one, if not two ‘End of the World’ parties and most memorably a Hells Angel party in Bristol where our payment was to walk away afterwards, very drunk etc. with our equipment but only if they liked us! Needless to say the 2.5 hour version of Master of the Universe did the trick and we survived, complete with our equipment intact to play another day!

I do not believe that any recording of our exploits still exists unless of course anyone has any dusty tapes still hidden away in a loft somewhere, likewise photographs are probably now faded or have been eaten by mice!
Will there ever be a Raw Carrots and Muesli Band reunion?
Emphatically not, well perhaps, maybe, probably not but there is nothing in the Omniverse that’s impossible.

Photo Gallery - Now:

Grant and Ledger De La Bald

The Lyrics

Raw Carrots & Muesli (Ledger & Grunt)

Raw carrots and muesli
Have been good to me
They keep me clean and regular
And healthy as can be
Not for me this stodgy fodder
That gums you up and makes you fat
No sausages beans and mash
Sticky buns and all that trash
Just raw carrots & muesli

Do not Adjust Your Mind There Is a Fault with Reality (Grunt)

Look around see what you find
Things unreal and material slime
People who know nothing
And just don’t want to know
Do not adjust your mind
There is a fault with reality

A plastic world of plastic people
Material gods and metal temples
Science takes us to the beyond
Where only a few can understand
Do not adjust your mind
There is a fault with reality

The path we tread is not only wrong
It’s sick and ill and it wont last long
We must adjust all that will not follow
Turn them on to the new tomorrow
Do not adjust your mind
There is a fault with reality

White Triangle Anarchy (Grunt & Ledger)

White triangle anarchy
It’s what we need for you and me
You don’t have to fight
You don’t have to die
Just run away and get high

Change your mind
It’s what we find
If you don’t fit in
Sit with a grin
On your face
It’s no disgrace
Change to suit
White triangle anarchy

Politics can be fun
Till they try to change it with a gun
Just turn your back and run, run, run
Don’t be afraid to be mislead
Suss it all out in your head
Together for white triangle anarchy

If it don’t hurt do it
If it don’t hurt do it
It’s white triangle anarchy.

I Was A Teenage Spelling Mistack (Ledger De La Bald)

I was a teenage spelling mistack,
They sent me away but I come back
My name is Jake but they call me Jack
Cos I was a teenage spelling mistack

It's the second verse. it's me again
My doctor says I got no brain
I had a job but they didn't like me
So now I'm gravelling social-secure-I-tee-ayy

When I got no money I dance in the rain
When I got money I adjust my brain
I leap around and I look inside
With Lysergic Acid Diethylamide

And I was a teenage spelling mistack
They sent me away but I came back
My name is Jake but they call me Jack
Cos I was a teenage spelling mistack!

Perhaps now you will understand why there can be no reunion of RCAMB, the world simply isn't ready!

What of us now?

Well, I'm still me! Ledger De La Bald is an international author and performace poet (Check him out on Youtube or better still hunt down his book, "Hunting the Great White Prawn"), Poot is a senior lecturer at a very well known Theatre & Performing Arts school, as to the others, they may have faded from view but not from our memories.

Until the next time, cool running’s one and all!

No comments:

Post a Comment